Recently a video surfed showing Lindsay Lohan being abused in public by her then fiance Egor Tarabasoc. Wait, you didn’t hear about it? You mean, it wasn’t blasted all over the media? No, of course it wasn’t. Lindsay has struggled with drug addiction and has been in and out of rehab. Sadly, the last thing the media wants to do is feel sympathy for someone they’ve bee dogging on for years. I’m sure we’ll read about people thinking it’s a publicity stunt or apologists who think she should have just given him his phone. It’s bull shit.
Lindsay, if you ever read this (which, I know, it’s a long shot), screw those assholes. We’re here for you. By we, I mean the other survivors. Those who have been in your shoes. I’m glad you left him and I hope you can stick to your guns and not go back. No matter what though, we’ve got your back girl. No one deserves abuse. You hear that media? NO ONE. IDGAF if Lindsay has had run ins with the law. She’s still a human being and deserves to be treated as such. She still deserves a loving relationship without abuse.
So back to the bit about Egor’s phone. Here’s the thing I want people to understand about the “she should have just given him his phone” mentality. I guarantee you Lindsay already had that thought. She’s already blamed herself for the abuse. She has done it every single time he lashed out. That’s what victims do. We blame ourselves for our partner’s violent behavior. We subject ourselves to a life of “if I just did” and “if I hadn’t had done.” I did that a lot with both A1 and A2. With A1 I thought I just needed to be a better wife. I was constantly told I needed to be a better wife. When he cheated on me, he blamed it on me not being a great wife. For a while I believed him. I started trying harder. Then I realized that no matter how hard I tried and how much I did, it was never enough. Never. It was the same with A2, we just weren’t married. I promise you that if it hadn’t been Lindsay having his phone, it would have been something else. Abusers will always find a reason.
One more time for the people in the back. ABUSERS WILL ALWAYS FIND A REASON.
To the media: you need to run with this story. Big time. You need to show the world that this is NOT ok behavior. You have the power to help other people see that they are being abused. People who are in a similar situation to Lindsay. People who don’t know that this is abuse because their abuser has told them otherwise. Yes, that happens. A1 used to tell me that he could hit me with an open hand. That it wasn’t legally considered abuse unless he closed his fist. Even though I’m smart as hell, I started to believe him. He was convincing. DO YOUR JOB MEDIA. You have a chance to do the right thing and not only help Lindsay, but help other victims. Including potential future victims of Egor Tarabasoc.