1 year ago today I finally had enough. I finally said the words “get out” strong enough that he realized I meant them. Yes, he still tried to manipulate his way back in. I gave him 30 days, ample time to find a place to live. I asked him a few times where he was going, he wouldn’t answer. Around day 20 I realized his plan wasn’t to move, but to somehow convince me to let him stay. Let me tell you how far this fucker went. He actually had the audacity to have his best friend message me on Facebook and tell me that I was hurting our son and I should let A2 live with me even if we stay broken up. Spouting made up statistics and telling me how bad off his cousins are because his aunt and uncle split up. Yes, he had to use his cousins as examples because he himself is NOT a parent. I had to block this guy on FB, that’s how bad it was. Did I mention I also had to block A2 on FB? While he still lived with me!
Anyway, so yeah, his plan wasn’t to move, it was to manipulate me into letting him stay. He tried to manipulate me to the very end. When he found a couch to crash on he neglected to tell me the people (who were mutual friends) didn’t want him watching our son at their house during the day. I should note that they had good reason, don’t think less of them. But A2 was the laziest person I have ever met. Basically they knew that if our son was over there it wouldn’t be A2 watching him. The thing is, A2 neglected to tell me this until the night before he was supposed to move. He knew I would have to scramble to find someone to watch our son. I’m sure his plan was for me to let him stay because I had no choice. Sorry not sorry, I found a babysitter within a day who was able to start watching my lil guy that Monday. It only bought A2 a few days.
With the move itself came even more manipulation. I have a ton of shit missing. I called him on a few things, like my Walking Dead collector’s sets. He claims they were his cause he bought them. Um, with what money? Oh, right, MY money. There are other things, a good deal of comic books, more movies, and I’m pretty sure my son’s birth certificate. I’m sure he was waiting for me to beg for this stuff back. Honestly, it’s just stuff. It’s not important to me. It’s not anything that’s irreplaceable. The kicker was when moving day came. We got the rest of his stuff in my car and drove to where he was staying. He refused to give me his house key. He kept saying he’d give it to me when we got there because it was hard to get out of his pocket once he sat down. When I asked him for it he legit wanted a hug first. At first I caved a bit, I started to hug him. Then I realized what I was doing and tried to grab the key from him. He pushed me and I got pissed and got in my car. Told him to fuck off that I would just change the locks. He ended up giving me my key back. I’m still not sure if I’m more mad at him for pulling that bull shit or myself for falling for it.
Once he was officially gone I felt free. I felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I didn’t have to walk on eggshells in my own home. My house is cleaner and life is just better. A2 bounced around from couch to couch. Whenever our son would visit he wanted me to supply everything. Supply the food, diapers, wipes, and everything else. He started staying with people I didn’t know. At one point I told him we could meet up at the mall playground and he could have time with our lil guy there. I told him Sunday would be when I’d go, but that it could be changed if he needed it to. He then pulled the “I don’t have a car/ride/way to get there” card, so I told him Saturdays were an option and gave him the closest bus route. I shot down every single attempt at his manipulation. He claimed I was keeping him away from his son. I told him if he got a job and his own apartment, even if he did have roommates, then I would have no problems setting up a proper visitation schedule. He still clung (and actually still does to this day) to the idea that he’s disabled. He’s still fighting for disability. In fact, rather than get a job and his own place so he could actually see his kid, he fled the state. He fled the state because he ran out of free couches to sleep on. Imagine that, people actually wanted money for him to live with them. He fled the state to live with his mommy and bleed her dry. And now, rather than get a job and pay child support, he’s still trying to get disability (he’s NOT disabled) and he’s running around going to concerts and Comic Con and buying all sorts of comics and movies. My child support claim that was made in March 2016 has still been unanswered. Because being the victim is more important than his son. Hurting me is more important than his son. HURTING ME IS MORE IMPORTANT TO HIM THAN HIS SON.
1 year ago today I made the most important and the best decision of my entire life. 1 year ago today, I freed myself from A2’s abuse. 1 year ago today I stopped surviving and started living.