I close my eyes

silently screaming

trying to drown out

your words so demeaning.

I sit motionless

as the words take their place

refusing this time

to let the tears hit my face.

Finally I crack

no longer will I sit

I free myself

from your terrible grip.

 

I feel so alive

now that you’re gone

freedom has come

but your words linger on.

Innocent bystanders

not knowing what they say

my emotions go crazy

running every which way.

Though you are gone

it feels like you’re here

I hold back my tears

and tremble in fear.

 

I take a deep breath

and hope the panic subsides

“they’re just words” I repeat

hoping my fears will hide.

But instead I just snap

and say words I don’t mean

then I gasp in horror

and grow weak in the knees.

Am I becoming the person

that I had to flee

No, I refuse

my triggers are not me

 

 

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