September 25, 2015 A2 was officially gone. I felt free and it was amazing. A few days later, 9/28/15, I decided to make a dating profile on OK Cupid. I didn’t expect much. I really just wanted to get my feet wet and possibly feel good about myself again. I really just did it on a whim.
I got a ton of messages within minutes of making the profile. The majority consisted of the standard “hey” or “hi” with some straight out asking for a booty call. One message stood out though. The guy had taken the time to read through my profile and started right out of the gate talking about a common interest, gaming. He was the only person I messaged back.
We chatted it up for a few on the messanger and then via text. He invited me over that weekend and I agreed. Yes, I took all the precautions. My friends had his address and I agreed to check in every so often so they knew I was safe.
Our date was so much different than I was used to. We just watched movies and ate sushi. He actually asked my permission to put his arm around me. I agreed. It felt nice. I felt like a human being again.
When he walked me out he didn’t kiss me. I remember thinking that he must not have had a good time. I decided that I wasn’t going to chase him, but if asked me out again I would say yes. He did, and I did.
I later realized that the reason he didn’t try to kiss me on the first date wasn’t that he didn’t like me or that he didn’t have a good time on the first date. It was quite the opposite actually. He respected me as a person. It was weird. Being respected by a mate or potential mate shouldn’t be weird. Not being kissed on the first date shouldn’t be a sign of disinterest.
At first I questioned what we had. I hadn’t felt weak in the knees or butterflies in my stomach when we met. As time went by I realized it was because I wasn’t nervous around him. I felt like I was meant to be there.
Just like I didn’t expect to actually find anyone on the dating site, I also didn’t expect to fall in love. Some might say it was so quick after I kicked A2 out. That I must have gotten over A2 really fast. Those people would be right. I was over A2 before we broke up. By the time I kicked him out I was healed and ready to move on.
We didn’t start dating until about amonth later. When A2 found out he accused me of cheating on him. Told me that I must have been seeing this guy all along and that must have been why I kicked him out. I knew he couldn’t get to me anymore when I didn’t care what he thought. It didn’t matter. I finally had someone who treated me right.
It was one year ago today that I finally found him. One year ago today when I started talking to the most amazing, funny, intelligent, and respectful man I have ever dated. He understands me. He respects me. He doesn’t get mad at me for my triggers. He’s amazing and I love him.