Today I was told my claims of sexual assault were only claims, and thus invalid and not to be believed. I was also told that because of my alleged, yes alleged, sexual assaults that I obviously just hate men.
Let me just set the record straight. I don’t hate men. There are many men in my life that are wonderful human beings. All of the men in my family are amazing human beings. They all treat women with respect. They treat other humans in general with respect. The males in my family are part of the reason that I know what happened to me was wrong. They are the reason that I know “locker room talk” doesn’t normally include bragging about sexual assault. My family is full of strong women. My family is full of strong women because it is also full of decent men. Men who raise us up rather than bring us down and make us feel worthless. Men who are as gentle and kind as they are strong. Men who I can guarantee were super pissed off and upset when they read my post about one of my own sexual assaults.
I also have several male friends that respect women. Some of them are husbands, amazing husbands. Friends that know feminism isn’t just about women, it’s about men too. Male friends that are just as disgusted and outraged by women being grabbed by pussy as I am.
And then there is my boyfriend. If you follow my blog at all you’ve seen me dote on him. He is absolutely the most respectful guy I have ever dated. A guy who asked for my permission before he put his arm around me on our first date. A man who makes sure I’m fully awake and aware and can verbally say yes when he wants to have sex in the morning, or any time after I’ve been sleeping. A man who doesn’t shy away from the fact that I have been abused in the past. Who respects that sometimes I have a hard time with certain things. Who doesn’t get mad at me for my triggers, because he knows it’s not my fault. He’s kind and understanding and I could never hate him.
So to the “man” who told me who I am, what I’m about, and that my claims are obviously made up, fuck off. YOU are part of the problem. People like YOU are the reason women don’t report. YOU ARE RAPE CULTURE.