SPOILER WARNING If you haven’t watched episode 9 of 13 Reasons Why, and you don’t want spoilers, then this is your warning.


I’m also adding a trigger warning to this entry, just in case you haven’t watched the episode and you’re still reading. This episode is about rape.

I knew Bryce was skeevy. Honestly, I was beginning to wonder if Jessica was the victim. What I didn’t expect was for Bryce to rape Jessica. It certainly explains why Justin is so messed up about the whole situation. It also explains why Jessica is spiraling. She knew it happened. She was only going along with Justin’s story because that’s what she wanted to be true. She wanted to forget. She was drunk that night so it was easy to convince herself that what she thought happened didn’t really happen. It was easy to convince herself that Justin was telling the truth that they just got drunk together and had sex. That’s what victims do. We try to convince ourselves something else happened. We call it different words like a drunken mistake or almost rape. We do everything in our power to convince ourselves that what happened isn’t real because if it’s real then we have to deal with it and sometimes it’s just easier to forget.

Jessica isn’t drinking because of Hannah’s tapes. Well, I mean, she is, but not because she’s worried about someone blaming her for Hannah’s death. She’s drinking because she’s had her own trauma and she doesn’t know how else to deal with it. She’s doing everything she can to drown the pain. She’s probably also really angry with Hannah. Hannah didn’t say a word. She was scared and she felt horribly guilty for not helping Jessica. Maybe she thought Jessica knew. She did see her struggle, so it’s possible she thought Jess knew what happened.

Either way, Hannah feels guilty. She could have helped her but she froze. She was scared and she was drunk so she froze. On the tape Hannah apologizes. The sad part is that it won’t help. Apologizing doesn’t unbreak something. It doesn’t magically heal wounds and make Bryce not rape Jessica. Apologies are both necessary and yet so unhelpful at times. Funny things apologies are.



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